


Idle youth enslaved to everything

by orilius



Category: Hamlet - Shakespeare
Genre: F/F, High School AU, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Swearing, rude af hamlet, there will be smut you are warned
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-26
Updated: 2015-04-26
Packaged: 2018-03-25 21:28:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3825679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orilius/pseuds/orilius
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A high school AU written in a screenplay layout with a lot of angst and cynical lines. In which Hamlet's life is turning to crap, Horatio does not know how to help, Ophelia does not really want to help and wants her own life, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are the exact same and Polonius cannot simply stop giving useless advice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Idle youth enslaved to everything

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kandinskian](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kandinskian/gifts).



> I started this as a classically written teenage/high school AU but then realised that it would work out better if it were to be put in a screenplay layout. And it did help a lot. I had a lot of fun writing this, an awful lot.

CHARACTERS:

 **HAMLET** _(Melodramatic teenager with suicidal tendencies and a mixture between existentialism and nihilism as life philosophies.)_

 **HORATIO** _(A cinnamon roll, full of empathy and love for everyone around him. Cares for HAMLET more than HAMLET probably deserves. Is actually very sad all the time but will not let anybody notice it. He is sickly dependent on HAMLET.)_

 **OPHELIA** _( Pink ball of fluff with a very sharp mouth, a soft shell and a pointy heart. Badass in flower blouses and pleated white skirts.)_

 **ZARA** _(Ophelia’s girlfriend, the girl you seriously do not want to get into a fight with. Would probably feed you your own intestines if you were to touch Ophelia. Hates Hamlet, secretly adores Horatio-who doesn’t actually?)_

 **ROSENCRANTZ** _(Is a trans boy, address him the wrong pronouns and he won’t do anything but don’t be taken by surprise if you are assaulted and the assaulter is GUILDENSTERN.)_

 **GUILDENSTERN** _(ROSENCRANTZ’s boyfriend, is actually a very chill person-besides in those times when somebody is hurting Rosencrantz. Some people think they are twins, they go with it and pretend they are in an incestuous relationship.)_

 **CLAUDIUS** _(HAMLET’s uncle-a dick.)_

 **GERTRUDE** _(HAMLET’s mother, a successful businesswoman working in the fashion business as a magazine editor with a prick of a son and too many annoying false intellectuals as colleagues.)_

 **POLONIUS** _(OPHELIA AND LAERTES’ father, gives advice all the time. Advice is actually everything that comes out of his mouth. He is the advice lord. Nobody even asks him for advice anyway.)_

 **LAERTES** _(OPHELIA’S brother, thinks she is in a relationship with HAMLET, is horribly mistaken-is too gay for his own good-still in the negation phase.)_

                                  

ACT I

**SCENE I**

_(The front of Hamlet’_ _s house in Copenhagen, Denmark. The house is situated in a central area. It is one of the slim, bright coloured-in this case it is pink-houses with two floors. It is 7 am and HORATIO is waiting in the front of HAMLET’s house. He is wearing black jeans, a grey t-shirt and a baggy denim jacket. He is holding his chocolate bagel in one hand and his coffee-to-go in his other one. He has a frowned look because of what happened last night. With a night before HAMLET sent him a number of worrying texts but due to the fact that HORATIO was sleeping he has only seen them in the morning, thing which worries him deeply. He keeps thinking about the fact that HAMLET might have killed himself the night before and he is waiting in vain in front of the house. He keeps waiting for GERTRUDE, HAMLET’s mother to come outside in her night gown, red eyes from crying and uncombed hair and tell him that HAMLET died the last night. He swallowed too many pills, he jumped from the balcony, he slit his veins, he stabbed himself several times, he simply killed himself. HORATIO is already shaking without even knowing. HAMLET exits the house. His eyes are red, his blonde hair scruffy, he looks as if he has not slept the whole night and some nights before that too. He is wearing his usual all black outfit: black ripped jeans, black t-shirt and his leather jacket.)_

_(The general atmosphere is ruled by awkwardness-thing which rarely happens between the two.)_

HAM _(approaching HORATIO-bitter smile)_ _:_ I’m sorry.

HOR _(smiling exactly as bitterly as HAMLET)_ _:_ No problem. I’m sorry I didn’t answer your texts last night. I was sleeping.

HAM: You thought I’d kill myself, didn’t you?

HOR: Now that you’re brining it up, yes.                               

HAM: I’m sorry.

HOR: Stop saying you’re sorry, I’m not upset.

HAM: But you are, how couldn’t you be?

HOR _(losing his patience)_ : Hamlet we’ve been through this a thousand fucking times.

HAM: Exactly, why do you even bother anymore?

HOR: Shut the fuck up ( _He turns his back and makes some steps- that meaning that he wants to shove off the subject and also hurry up a little bit because they have a 30 minutes walk to school.)_

_(HAMLET does not move a single inch, he sits there looking at HORATIO, waiting for him to turn back. When he looks at HAMLET he opens his mouth to talk but only a strangled moan comes out.)_

HAM: I really want to die.

HOR: Hamlet you have no idea what you are ta-

HAM: You’re the only reason I didn’t do it.

_(A moment of silence, Horatio does not feel his feet anymore, pretends he does not care what HAMLET said and tries to take is as his usual daredevil attitude.)_

HOR: Let’s hurry up, will you?

_(They start walking side by side to school not saying a word. HAMLET grabs HORATIO’s hand out of a sudden and drags him closer, kissing his cheek and whispering something unintelligibly into his ear. HORATIO’s face brightens and turns around, gives HAMLET a proper kiss, his hand holding HAMLET’s hand tighter.)_

**SCENE II**

_(Behind the school’s science laboratory where everybody gathers to smoke. The building is a bright yellow and has dark blue window frames. It can be seen that the architecture is quite new and specific for the northern countries. HAMLET and HORATIO are smoking and drinking coffee, they are not talking at all, sometimes HORATIO looks at HAMLET but HAMLET keeps his head in the ground all this time, as if the weight of his thoughts is crushing him-and it definitely does, HAMLET’s most specific characteristic being his brooding way of looking and behaving. They have not talked for the whole way from HAMLET’s place to school. The silence continues. It is not an uncomfortable silence, HAMLET and HORATIO use to spend hours in silence, whether they are just looking at each other, kissing or just wasting hours in the same room while lying side by side and not talking at all. OPHELIA and her girlfriend ZARA break the silence.)_

OPH _(digs her hand in HORATIO’s pocket and grabs his cigarette pack, takes one, lights her cigarette with infinite grace-the split of second in which the lighter lights the cigarette is ephemeral and could last forever, she emanates a vibe far away from human characteristics. She is wearing a short pale pink dress, a white jacket and high top Nikes. Her aspect contradicts her attitude, mostly her inner attitude.):_ What’s up doc, problems in Paradise?

HAM _(striking her with daggers in his eyes, obviously angry)_ _:_ As if you know anything about it.

ZAR _(ZARA is OPHELIA’s girlfriend. She is what one would consider a badass. She is wearing a black leather jacket, skinny black jeans ripped at the knee and a white crop top. Her winged eyeliner is always on point and her plum lipstick looks as if her lips are naturally that colour. She has a putrid hatred for HAMLET, mostly because he treats OPHELIA like trash-that’s how she(and everybody besides HORATIO and OPHELIA herself see their relationship.)_ : She asked you nicely trashcan.

HOR: Hey now he’s n-

ZAR: You’re just under his flower prince influence and can’t see what a trash he actually is.

HAM: I actually am trash if you think about it properly...

_(The following two lines are said at the same time)_

ZAR: See?

HOR: No Ham-

OPH: Who cares? Anyway, Hamlet, what happened? _(she puts her hand over his shoulders although HAMLET is with one head bigger than OPHELIA and she looks like smurf in comparison to HAMLET’s height and his lanky limbs.)_ Let me guess, it’s your gross gross gross uncle again, causing you so much trouble because you can’t get the fuck over a person not treating you like royalty.

HAM: _(moving her hand away from his shoulder)_ I have sincerely not asked for advice, nonetheless from you. Seriously now Oph, I couldn’t care less for your opinion about me and whether my uncle is right or not from _your_ point of view.

OPH: ( _with a false and mockingly shocked look_ ): Oh my, what a surprise, I don’t give a shit either.

HAM: Then why are you talking to me? Just to impress your girlfriend and show her that you can swear a bit and intimidate someone? Oph, you know better than that, don’t you?

OPH _(almost screaming at him, pointing her finger towards his chin):_ You know jack-shit about me fuckboy, so don’t dare psychoanalyse me you fake Freud.

ZAR: Speaking of Freud, haven’t you got some Oedipus complex or some shit? Because you’re awfully angry that your mother remarried.

HAM _(already screaming, almost spitting his hate out of his smoker lungs):_ With my uncle!

_(ZARA and OPHELIA chuckle. OPHELIA grabs ZARA’s hand and makes some steps away from them.)_

ZAR: _(trying to abstain from laughing, not really succeeding)_ What’s the deal with your parents anyway?

OPH: Oh God I wish I had a pumpkin spice latte for every time I’ve told this story. _(starts laughing all by herself but strikes both of HAMLET and HORATIO with a look that obviously says “don’t dare making fun of my pumpkin spice latte I am a white girl after all”)_ , Okay so the thing is that his parents divorced God knows why and now he has to stay with his mom who, oh my God listen to this and tell me that this is not the most amusing thing you have **_ever_** heard: who remarried Hamlet’s uncle. How amazing is that?

ZAR: Is that even legal? _(bursts out laughing)_

HAM: I don’t see anything funny.

HOR: _(silently, chuckling to himself)_ It’s kind of funny if you see it from another perspective...

HAM: Et tu, Brute?

OPHELIA: _(giving off an obvious sigh)_ Now you homoerotic beggars, I have class and you’re a dull company anyway. Horatio take care of him, God knows you’re the only one who can.

_(They disappear as if they are swallowed by a cloud of dust, in their own mystery and feminine force, leaving the two alone there, their cigarettes already finished in-between their shaky fingers.)_

**SCENE III**

_(The eating hall: a massive place in which pimpled Danish teenagers take their meal, they usually drink coke and fight for candy bars and complain about improperly boiled carrots and tasteless peas which scream “I AM NOT EDIBLE”. HAMLET and HORATIO are sitting together, HAMLET is half asleep with his head on HORATIO’s shoulder while his fingers are moving up and down on HORATIO’s thigh, gently touching him. HAMLET is once again in his affectionate phases. ROSENCRANTZ and GUILDENSTERN approach their table and sit down without having any food by. They hope they could steal something from either HAMLET or HORATIO. They hope in vain.)_

ROS: Guess what

GUI: Happened today

_(They are very excited, waving hands and ending each other’s sentences-which is not necessarily a mark of their excitement for they always end each other’s sentences)_

HAM: _(raises his head from HORATIO’s shoulder, stares furiously at them)_ Guess what, shut the fuck up _(rests his head on HORATIO’s shoulder once again)_

OPH: Are you still passive aggressive, prince? _(she sits down and starts eating her salad and drinking her orange fresh)_

HOR: Rosencrantz, Guildenstern this is Zara, Ophelia’s girlfriend

_(Zara awkwardly greets them and sits next to OPHELIA, starting to eat her burger. ROSENCRANTZ and GUILDENSTERN stare with lust and craving at the hamburger. Zara notices)_

ZAR: I’m not giving you any

ROS: We were not going to.

GUI: Take any of it anyway.

ZAR _(half smiling, half worried):_ What. The. Fuck.

OPH: They are creeps, Hamlet’s friends.

ZAR: Are you twins?

HAM: No

ROS&GUI: Yes

ZAR: What

OPH: They’re not, they like to pretend they are because they look so alike and creep the others out. As if they aren’t creepy enough.

ZAR: What the fuck is up with you two?

HOR: Nothing really, they just like the attention and you are the one giving them what they want. They might actually start kissing if you give up on caring so don’t let yourself be deceived by them _. (smiles and bites his sandwich)_

ZAR (actually confused, she was amused before but now her attitude is rather confused and a little bit scared): What the fuck!

HAM _: (with his eyes closed, still on HORATIO’s shoulder)_ You’ve said that two times before, we got the idea, what the fuck, Ros and Guil scare you. They’re the most pathetic couple in the history of couples but you’re too self absorbed by your mist of feminism and lesbianism and think that you are the most unconventional creature. But you’re not, you’re more pathetic than-

OPH: I’m going to slap you if you say one more word

HAM _(grinning, raising his head and opening his eyes):_ You are just a basic bitch

OPH: _(kicking him in the knee under the table, HAMLET swearing but laughing at the same time)_ : I wasn’t joking jackass, stop your idiotic passive aggressive bullshit and stop making everyone uncomfortable if you’re a sad whore.

ZAR: Whatever, you’re kinda gross anyway and I’m not going to eat anywhere nearby a trashcan like you _.(gets up and takes her schoolbag)_

OPH: _(getting up too and gathering the rest of her food)_ What the fuck is wrong with you Hamlet, when you’ll quit behaving like a spoilt baby talk to me, until then don’t even dare breathing the same air I do and I am not joking.

HAM: You’re going to tell Laertes that I made your girlfriend angry?

_(OPHELIA and ZARA leave, not before OPHELIA raises her both middle fingers to Hamlet and gloriously exists the eating hall)_

ROS: Was this because of us?

GUI: I think it was, wasn’t it?

HOR: Hamlet what the fuck

HAM: _(looking seriously confused)_ What?

HOR: That was mean and terrible and so gross of you what the heck was that even?

HAM: Stop acting like that Horatio, I thought you were not on their side.

HOR: I am on nobodies side, for God’s sake Hamlet, but stop behaving like that. Stop making everybody feel miserable if you feel like crap. It’s not working for me because I’m literally your nice and caring dog you like to have around when you feel super suicidal but then Ophelia is not me neither is Zara-who is not even such a bad person-you are the one getting possessive over Ophelia and that’s stupid and so pathetic and-

HAM: Shut up, fine, I got it, I got it.

HOR: No you didn’t, you don’t even want to listen to me until I finish my sentence. Look I know you’re not feeling good at all, God I know, but please stop-

HAM _(the volume in his voice and the speed he is talking with gets more and more intense)_ : No, you know what, you stop talking as if you know everything about the way I feel just because you are the only person I deeply talk to about what bothers me. You know what, stop acting like that, please, just stop psychoanalysing me and telling me I need to go to therapy when my mother is clearly the one who needs to when she married my uncle for God’s sake!

HOR: God Hamlet stop making such a scene everybody can hear you!

HAM: _(talking even more louder)_ :I don’t care if they hear me, look at me, do I look like I give a damn?

HOR: Stop it.

HAM: I’m not Horatio, I’m not stopping anything until **you** stop it!

HOR: _(visibly angry and also yelling)_ What the hell am I supposed to stop?!

_(HAMLET wants to say something, he stops with his mouth open and looks at HORATIO. He is almost shaking and his cheeks are red. His nostrils are moving heavily and his pupils have already dilated. ROSENCRANTZ and GUILDENSTERN have left the table a long while ago.)_

HAM: I’m so-

HOR: You’re not _(he gets up, starts packing his stuff from the table)_ , stop saying this sorry bullshit just because you think it works every time. And it does. It did, I mean. I’m so done with this Hamlet. _(he gets his bag on his shoulder and walks in the direction of the exit)_

HAM _(gets up rapidly and runs after him, grabbing his hand):_ Look, when I say I’m sorry I truly am, I’m sorry I made you snap and-

HOR: I don’t care Hamlet.

_(HAMLET’s look is alarmed. Horatio lets out a heavy breath and grabs him by the hand taking him outside the eating hall. The weather outside is nice although few students can be seen in the school yard)_

HOR: Look, I’m so damn tired of you not listening to me and then doing the same thing all over again. This self destruction thing is eating you up but at the same time it’s creating a great havoc around, annoying people and making them feel like utter shit. _(HAMLET wants to go away but HORATIO grabs him once again and holds him into place)_ I do care a lot about you, I care if you’re self destructing and all that but other’s don’t. They are not miserable because you’re miserable and that’s the way it’s supposed to be. I’m sorry if I sounded so harsh but I’m tired and so angry with you. Worrying me is one thing but insulting others who have nothing, but absolutely nothing, to do with you is another thing. And I won’t tolerate that.

HAM: Am I worrying you?

HOR: _(clearly angry but then becoming less tense)_ Is this all you-yes, you are worrying me.

HAM: Why?

HOR: Because for God’s sake I love you.

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to my dear kandinskian who made a WONDERFUL graphic and supported my work even though she has not even read Hamlet. Thank you queen(queer) of graphic design, thank you, one thousand of thanks.


End file.
